the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Randomize