My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
