We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
