We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
