I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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