End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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