Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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