i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
