i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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