we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
