He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
