...so i touched it.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
