Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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