idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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