After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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