I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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