I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
