Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
