Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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