its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
