he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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