i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
