OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
