kristin has been a bad kristin
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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