The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
