What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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