ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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