my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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