Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
