All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
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He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
