My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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