Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize