Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
