did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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