I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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