Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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