We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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