Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
