Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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