you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
