oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
