I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
