Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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