It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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