Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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