I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
