I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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