we have pet lesbian snakes
Non-Jews are for practice
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
