I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
