Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
