Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I need to calm my uterus...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
