I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
