So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ketchup is God's man juice
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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