saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
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