Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
