unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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