ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
